Saturday, December 26, 2015

Very Belated Stitch Fix review #1 & 2

I have been meaning to write this review and post pictures since my first Stitch Fix box in October. I didn't. Sue me, I'm lazy.

*Disclaimer/Reader Beware: I'm not a nice blogger. I swear a lot, I am not PC, I will erupt into rants whenever I feel like it, and I've been called horrible things by the nut jobs on Tumblr, so out of fairness for some readers, this is my warning banner and the only stupid trigger warning you'll get.*

I don't know about the rest of you, but when I look at Stitch Fix reviews, or any product reviews, I get so sick of seeing the "shpeal" at the beginning. Unfortunately, it has to be said in case this is the first review (seriously doubtful) you see of this particular service. Skip ahead to the tiny cupcake pixel if you don't want the boring shite.
  • Stitch Fix is a personal stylist service that allows busy ladies, stay-at-home moms, the fashionably challenged, and adventurous women with extra cash.
  • You pay $20 (non-refundable) to have a box show up at your house at your choosing. Either on a fixed schedule or randomly when you want.
  • You get 5 items (clothing, jewelry, accessories) picked for you by a stylist based on your style profile and Pinterest board and you have 3 days to try everything on and decide if you want to keep it. 
  • If you buy something, that $20 goes towards it. If you keep all 5, you get 25% off the whole order. Then you ship everything back for free in the return bag they send with you.  

My First Fix:
...has no pictures. I deleted them because the entire box sucked the ass of a thousand asses. Ok, that's not entirely true. It was my fault the box was horrible, as well as it being my first box, plus my stylist was on drugs (that's a hypothesis).

I can't even remember everything I got, but my mother LOVED all of it so obviously everything went back. What I do remember was a pair of really comfortable jeans that didn't fit right, a god-help-me hideous plaid shirt that looked like a circus tent and a picnic blanket woke up together on the wrong side of Mardi Gras, and the
Richie Asymmetrical Clutch... which brings us to the one item I did buy and instantly fell in love with. I left a great Pinterest board and a detailed note to my stylist that asked for plaid, skinny jeans, and a super-awesome, giant clutch for going out. What I got was some ill-fitting grandma clothes, and a super-awesome, giant clutch for going out. I love that purse and even took pictures for you:

I filtered the left picture to match the actual color because my camera was being a douche

 My Second Fix: 
...was fantastic. I even took fuzzy, shit-type pictures that are both blurry and poor views of the clothing. Enjoy.

This fix, I asked for shirts that showed off my forearm because I got a really kick ass tattoo of the solar system. I asked for a blazer, vest, fleece-lined leggings, and this elbow-patch sweater I've been seeing around the Stitch Fix blogs. 

What I got was this shirt, Filbert 3/4 Sleeve Popover Blouse, and it fits gloriously. It's super light and sheer so it needs a tank underneath, but it's a classic piece that goes to work or over leggings because it covers my behind. 

This was the blazer I received, Benson 3/4 Ruched Sleeve Blazer. It was my favorite piece this Fix. It's super soft jersey, ruched sleeves, and fits super cute. My only-only-only complaint is there is one button. If there was one more button holding it together, it would be perfect. 

This vest was confusing. It felt soft and nice, but looked gross. It was weird and gross. I don't know what it was trying to be. I asked for a vest, but I wanted a cute layering vest that was kind of loose and would go with a blouse. This wasn't it.

I got the elbow patch sweater I asked for... It just came in this horfendous color combo. I wanted any other color- gray and black, cream and black- anything, but they sent navy and magenta. I hate magenta. It was so comfy. I was incredibly sad. 

These are probably the worst of the lot. I asked for fleece-lined leggings and got leather-stitched leggings. It wasn't their fault. They didn't have any in stock, which is cool. These were really comfy, but I don't like looking like I'm preparing for the Tour-De-France. They really looked like bicycle pants. Just no.

I ended up keeping the blazer and the sheer, black shirt. They've been staple pieces in my wardrobe since I got back to Japan.

This is the blazer and the clutch I wore on my mommy/daughter date to Trans-Siberian Orchestra. I think it looked pretty spiffy.

A little backstory:
My very frugal mother and a few friends have asked why I opted into this and, even after seeing the crazy prices on some items, why I keep requesting boxes. Well, the answer is pretty simple. I'm an average-sized woman living in Japan. My choices for shopping are limited to the stores in Japan that obviously make their clothes for the anorexic Lollypop Guild or the crooks at the MCCS on the Marine Base where I live. They carry shit items and jack up the prices because they know it's all we have. 

I guess I could go online, spend 5 hours clicking through pages, double checking size charts, making sure reviews are good about sizing, building up a basket, making sure return policies are fair or if they even exist, paying $20 in shipping, waiting 3-4 weeks, then hoping I don't eat a cupcake and gain any weight before my package arrives...
That's not even accounting for trying to return shit, which requires a box that's not express flat-rate because f*ck trying to pay for that, customs forms on LITERALLY EVERY PIECE OF PARCEL THAT LEAVES THIS GD COUNTRY, then waiting another 3-4 weeks for it to get there and process...

That would drive anyone to try ANYTHING at least once. So my friend, Kimberly, turned me onto Stitch Fix at dirty old barn up in the hills that serves the best chicken BBQ this side of Hawaii. I was a skeptic because I'm just jaded like that, but she told the truth. The shit can be expensive, I might hate everything in the box, and it will probably take a few tries before it seems "worth it".

My third box was supposed to be here 7 days ago. That's right, a week late. Welcome to Japan at Christmas. If you order anything after Halloween, you'll get it right around President's Day. Luckily for me, military FPO/APO isn't track-able so they give you a little more than 3 days turnaround time to try stuff on and return it. 

Helpful hints: 
Be specific! Tell your stylist what you want. Tell her what you like, what your favorite colors are, how you like your pants and shirts to fit, what you don't like, etc...

Be open to new ideas. I've been very specific the last 2 boxes and from the preview of the third, she gave me everything I asked for, which is nice, but I think I'll make sure my next box is a surprise.  The idea is to expand and let someone else dress you. 

Be prepared to hate everything in the box. Stitch Fix even says on their website they only expect people to like 1 or 2 things. 

Make your Pinterest board with notes to your stylist. I'll link mine as a reference. It's been working wonders so far.  
 ~My Stitch Fix Board

When you make an order, make sure to mention your Pinterest board and anything you've been specifically wanting this round. It's winter, I don't request booty shorts and tanks. 
I'm obliged to throw my referral link out here so I can get some credit ($25) on my boxes. :] Click below to utilize and help a fatty in Japan get some clothes. J/k, do what you want, I'll survive. 

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